Does loneliness matter?

Hello Friends,

“Hello Friends.”  I’m so thankful that I can honestly say that. I am blessed to have a multitude of friends, in all types of places and stages and distinctions. I love people. I always have. And I will continue to prioritize the “connect with people” aspect of my life.

My life coach, Dr. Tom Hill, taught me a long time ago that “one person, attracted to you because of who you have become (or are becoming), can change your life forever.”  I’ve had this happen to me many times over the years of my life, and I can count on this phenomenon to continue into the future.

How about you? Are you enjoying abundant relationships with family, friends, and perhaps a life partner? Are you making a priority of spending time with existing relationships, and making new ones?

A recent study published by the U.S. Surgeon General reports on the current “Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation.” According to this study, 50% of adults in America reported experiencing loneliness, and this was before the COVID-19 pandemic, which exacerbated the amount of loneliness and isolation. This new research shows that loneliness is associated with greater risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety, and premature death. The mortality impact of being socially disconnected is the same as if you smoked up to 15 cigarettes a day, and is even more than that associated with obesity and physical inactivity.  Simply put, being lonely is very dangerous for your health.

As a Psychologist and one who is geeked out about all things related to “Positive Psychology,” I’m not surprised to read these statistics. I’m also excited to recognize that many of the philosophies embedded in the school of Positive Psychology speak right at the importance of having abundant positive relationships. 

I’m guessing that you, being part of my friend-group, may not be one who struggles with loneliness or social isolation. But, I might be wrong, and this information and advice could be perfect for you.  What I do know, for sure, is that you know many people who are suffering right now with loneliness. Perhaps you can share some of the advice below with these folks.

So, what can you do to overcome loneliness and isolation?

  1. Take time each day to reach out to a friend or family member.

  2. Minimize distractions during conversations. Don’t check your cell phone during meals with friends and important conversations.

  3. Seek out opportunities to serve and support others. Be a volunteer.

  4. Practice gratitude. Each night before you go to sleep, right down three things you are grateful for.

  5. Actively participate in social and community groups.

This list may sound elementary and obvious, but there are so, so many people all around us who don’t do any of these things, and who are silently suffering as a result.

Start now. Put down your smartphone. Turn off the television. Get outside. Call a friend and go do something fun together.

Start intentionally strengthening your connections and relationships, and watch your and your friends’ health, productivity, and overall joy grow as you live more fulfilled lives.

I hope you’re set to flourish in the coming month, and I look forward to staying in touch.  Please shoot back a note to let me know what’s new in your world, and remember that I’m here to help as a coach and as a friend.

-Brett

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