Back in the saddle…
I last wrote one of these updates in December of 2019 and I’ve been pretty quiet since. A lot has happened over the last 3 years. For me, that time has gone by super fast and super slow as if time warped and became elastic.
But I’m back now! I’m excited about my new chapter in life. And I’m excited about what’s ahead for you too.
Back in 2019, I was in the process of pulling back on my coaching business to focus on finishing up my PhD in I-O Psychology. My beautiful wife, Kim, and I had just moved out of our suburban home and boldly moved into a small high-rise apartment in the heart of downtown Durham. Beautiful views, great restaurants, and hip lounges became our new normal. This time was so exciting. We were thriving!
And then in March of 2020, we hunkered down just like you. In our little apartment with its view from above, we could literally see our city shut down. The streets became quiet. And then in April, we received news of something completely unexpected. Kim had been experiencing numbness in her hand for a few months. We didn’t think much of it. It was a nerve, right? All of the normal tests came back negative, so the doctors began to dig deeper. And then one test came back positive. The one you don’t want. The incurable one. The one with a certain outcome. ALS.
In an instant, our whole lives changed. The life we had built together seemed so fragile. As the ALS progressed, Kim had to leave her beloved career in real estate, and I ramped down on my coaching and consulting work. But I knew I that if I paused my pursuit of the PhD, I might never return to my studies. I made the hard decision to push forward and continue research for my doctoral dissertation.
I defended my dissertation in November 2020 and became Brett Blair, PhD on December 15, 2020. It’s one of my proudest accomplishments.
With ALS progressing, Kim and I made the decision to leave our little space in the sky and move into a single-story home designed for wheelchair access. These next months were some of the most emotionally trying of my life. Our mantra was to live each day fully. Sometimes that meant watching old movies all day long. Others meant having close family and friends over to say goodbye. We laughed. We cried. I am so thankful for those who surrounded us with so much love.
My beloved Kim passed away on May 11, 2021, just a little over a year from her diagnosis. Her Celebration of Life had over 500 people in attendance, a testament to all the people she had touched over the years.
I spent the remainder of 2021 traveling and spending time with my kids, family, and close friends. I needed time to rest and recover. I sold the single-story home and moved back into the high-rise in downtown Durham. I love watching the sunrise from my 20th floor balcony. It’s my favorite time of day.
And in early 2022, I began working again … both consulting and coaching. I also started writing my next book, Born – Love – Die. It’s been an incredibly hard, but at the same time cathartic process.
It’s now January 2023 and I feel great! I’m excited about the new year. My coaching practice is growing, I’m finishing up my book, I’m the Chairman of the Board of a couple of exciting companies, I’ve gotten involved with angel investing, and I’m on the Board of Directors of my church. And I’m happily dating an amazing lady who lives in a small town nearby. We have plans to travel to Belize and Africa this year. LIFE IS GOOD!
I’ve learned so much about life and death during the year of ALS. I’m excited to share what I’ve learned, and I hope I can help you in some way to live your best life.
Cheers!
-Brett